Monday, March 20, 2017

Send Me

           
 Send me! This has become our family's battle cry over the last nine months. We didn't plan it. We didn't pray for it. If I am completely honest, we didn't want it, not really, not at first. God showed up and grabbed our hearts like never before. He opened our eyes and very clearly called us. For awhile we just sat in stunned silence. We asked ourselves all the questions that were holding us back. Do we have the money? Do we have the passion? What will we loose? What will we gain? Are we enough? What about fear, doubt? What about Tessa and Bella? People might think we are crazy. They might not understand. What if they think we're fanatics? The future we had pictured kept playing in our minds. Were we willing to give that up for God's future?
               When we said "yes" to Ping, we had no idea we were saying "send me" We didn't know God had already begun shaping our hearts and giving us new desires for our future and new direction for our family. If we had known, we might have run. We might have said "no" and continued living our comfortable, American lives. We might have missed our purpose, but we said, "yes".
               Ping plunged into our lives and became our beloved daughter. She was loved from the moment we saw her sweet little face and impish grin on the computer screen. We began actively pursing her. Chasing documents, certifications, authentications, and seals. We received our home study approval and China said we could be her family. During our rush to get everything completed we learned just what life is like for many orphans around the world. We saw the neglect, abuse, and depravity so many children were suffering. We learned that children like Ping are often left in rooms and tied to cribs because of their disability. A diagnosis of Down syndrome in many countries means you are not worthy of basic care, schooling, or love. It means you will live your entire life in institutions. Imagine, children as young as four years old in mental institutions with adults. Imagine rows of cribs and potty chairs with babies and children tied to them all day. Our eyes were opened and when we tried to fight it and shut our eyes as tightly as we could, we were haunted by these images. We asked God what He wanted from us and He answered "all of you". Our hearts, our money, our time; He wanted it all. Our dreams, our pursuits, our failures, our brokenness. Everything; He wanted everything. We knew God's plans were so much better than ours. We knew He was bigger than any obstacle or fear we faced. We knew we had no choice but to give everything to God. So, we did.
               Then, we saw the cutest little boy in the corner of a picture. He was very excited about the cake his friend had received. The picture was taken in Ping's orphanage during a "cake party" celebrating an upcoming adoption. The family who posted the picture could have chosen from over 30 other pictures (none of which had this little boy in them) but they didn't; they chose that picture and we saw it. We knew that little boy was our son, Liam Worth. Once again, we found ourselves telling God, "Send Me!"  and this time it was easier. We quickly added Liam to our adoption and began the paper chase again. We learned that Liam is a sweet and energetic little boy. He has the most infectious smile we have ever seen. He, like Ping, has Down syndrome and like Ping he is chosen and loved by our family.
               Now, we are all in! We know we have been called to orphan care. Right now, that means we are called to adopt these precious little ones. We are called to be the vessels that God uses to make two less orphans in the world. We get asked "will you adopt again?" and our answer is simple "maybe". Maybe God will call us to adopt another precious child. Maybe He will call us to support other families adopting, with our finances, our skills, and our prayer. Maybe God will call us to foster care. Wherever He calls, we will go. Though we are broken, weak, and scared, our cry is loud and strong, "Send Me!"
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And then I said, "Here am I. Send me!" (Isaiah 6:8)

1 comment:

  1. Powerful. Inspired and humbling. I am blessed to know you, sweetie.

    ReplyDelete