Monday, March 20, 2017

Send Me

           
 Send me! This has become our family's battle cry over the last nine months. We didn't plan it. We didn't pray for it. If I am completely honest, we didn't want it, not really, not at first. God showed up and grabbed our hearts like never before. He opened our eyes and very clearly called us. For awhile we just sat in stunned silence. We asked ourselves all the questions that were holding us back. Do we have the money? Do we have the passion? What will we loose? What will we gain? Are we enough? What about fear, doubt? What about Tessa and Bella? People might think we are crazy. They might not understand. What if they think we're fanatics? The future we had pictured kept playing in our minds. Were we willing to give that up for God's future?
               When we said "yes" to Ping, we had no idea we were saying "send me" We didn't know God had already begun shaping our hearts and giving us new desires for our future and new direction for our family. If we had known, we might have run. We might have said "no" and continued living our comfortable, American lives. We might have missed our purpose, but we said, "yes".
               Ping plunged into our lives and became our beloved daughter. She was loved from the moment we saw her sweet little face and impish grin on the computer screen. We began actively pursing her. Chasing documents, certifications, authentications, and seals. We received our home study approval and China said we could be her family. During our rush to get everything completed we learned just what life is like for many orphans around the world. We saw the neglect, abuse, and depravity so many children were suffering. We learned that children like Ping are often left in rooms and tied to cribs because of their disability. A diagnosis of Down syndrome in many countries means you are not worthy of basic care, schooling, or love. It means you will live your entire life in institutions. Imagine, children as young as four years old in mental institutions with adults. Imagine rows of cribs and potty chairs with babies and children tied to them all day. Our eyes were opened and when we tried to fight it and shut our eyes as tightly as we could, we were haunted by these images. We asked God what He wanted from us and He answered "all of you". Our hearts, our money, our time; He wanted it all. Our dreams, our pursuits, our failures, our brokenness. Everything; He wanted everything. We knew God's plans were so much better than ours. We knew He was bigger than any obstacle or fear we faced. We knew we had no choice but to give everything to God. So, we did.
               Then, we saw the cutest little boy in the corner of a picture. He was very excited about the cake his friend had received. The picture was taken in Ping's orphanage during a "cake party" celebrating an upcoming adoption. The family who posted the picture could have chosen from over 30 other pictures (none of which had this little boy in them) but they didn't; they chose that picture and we saw it. We knew that little boy was our son, Liam Worth. Once again, we found ourselves telling God, "Send Me!"  and this time it was easier. We quickly added Liam to our adoption and began the paper chase again. We learned that Liam is a sweet and energetic little boy. He has the most infectious smile we have ever seen. He, like Ping, has Down syndrome and like Ping he is chosen and loved by our family.
               Now, we are all in! We know we have been called to orphan care. Right now, that means we are called to adopt these precious little ones. We are called to be the vessels that God uses to make two less orphans in the world. We get asked "will you adopt again?" and our answer is simple "maybe". Maybe God will call us to adopt another precious child. Maybe He will call us to support other families adopting, with our finances, our skills, and our prayer. Maybe God will call us to foster care. Wherever He calls, we will go. Though we are broken, weak, and scared, our cry is loud and strong, "Send Me!"
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And then I said, "Here am I. Send me!" (Isaiah 6:8)

Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Best Christmas Ever

        Christmas was full of laughter and family this year. My brother and his wife were home for the holidays and we enjoyed their company a great deal. A few months ago our girls expressed a desire to "give up" their Christmas gifts and instead use that money for our adoption. It was a selfless act on their parts. A few years ago, we completely rocked their worlds and stopped buying "stuff" through out the year for them. Of course we provided for all their needs, but the wants were up to them. They could earn money for things they wanted or wait for Christmas or their birthdays. In the beginning they really struggled with our new normal, but over time we saw them understanding the value of money and hard work. They also looked forward to the times during the year that they received gifts. So, when they decided to give up gifts we were a little shocked, but then quickly we were overcome with their selflessness. We decided as a family, to all forgo gifts and put the money saved in jars which would be counted on Christmas morning.
        Our family is competitive, like really competitive! Not surprisingly, our jars became a competition. Who could save the most money? Instead of just putting Christmas gift money in the jars, we began putting all of our change. Then we started putting any money we saved from coming under budget. We also sold items and put the profit in the jars. We even had some friends join in and give us jars full of pennies, checks for Ping, and Tessa's sweet friend gave us $236.00 for Ping! She is 12 years old and this was her entire savings! On Christmas morning we counted the money in our jars. We had $4,119.90! We were so surprised at the amount and felt so blessed! Our next round of fees was due in January and we were only $250.10 shy of the total amount.
        As we spent time with our family on Christmas, we were reminded of God's deep love for each of us and in particular our little girl, Ping Joy. His love is so strong, that He sent his son, Jesus, to earth as a little baby many Christmas's ago. Jesus, the King of Kings, came to us in a stable. He sacrificed his crown, his comfort, and eventually his life to save us. Now, we rejoice as he moves each mountain in our path to Ping. We were blessed with pictures and videos of our precious daughter from a family visiting her orphanage. They were able to hold her and tell her she is loved and that we are coming. Ping was enamored with the husband and thought he was her Daddy. She climbed out of her crib and ran to him calling "Baba". Billy and I were overcome with emotion as we watched the videos over and over. What love God has for us that He would give us such an undeserved blessing. What value He places on a single life! He has moved the hearts of friends and family and even strangers and through them showered blessings on our family.
        This Christmas we were able to better understand what it feels like to be separated from your child. We were able to focus on the true gift of Christmas and forget about commercialism, status quo, and stuff. We were blessed and hopefully able to bless others. At the end of the day, Bella loudly proclaimed, "This Is The Best Christmas Ever!"
     
        "It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It  came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." 
       
-- Dr, Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!