What Do You See?

What do you see when you look at the pictures of orphans? What thoughts cross your mind?

       About a month ago, a "friend" told me she couldn't pretend anymore. She had to tell me the truth about our adoption and our daughter. She went on to explain that she may be the only friend honest enough to tell me the difficult things I needed to hear. She said, "You are ruining your life and your children's lives." She asked if I knew what "orphans are capable of"? Did I understand that "this child" may never love me and would certainly be a burden to my husband and I and then, we would die and pass that burden on to our girls. She implored me to rethink our adoption. I was so shocked by her "honesty" that it took me a full month to process everything she said. I didn't know how to respond.
       The song "Mended" by Matthew West is the perfect response. I can't say it better in my own words, so I won't. You can listen to it here. When she saw the pictures of my little girl, she saw broken, gone, damaged, wounded, a mistake, scars, worthless, pain, unworthy, undeserving. That's not what I see. When I look at my child I see healing, chosen, something good, mended, a redemption story, priceless, purpose, I see God's mercy.
       This precious child is a gift to our family; a gift we do not deserve. For years we pursued stuff. We believed the lie that things would make us happy, fulfill us, bring us joy. We measured our worth against our house, our cars, the clothes we wore, the presents we bought, and the friends we had. We chose comfort over calling. We chose money over meaning. We chose to remain in darkness because the light was a little scary. Then God opened our eyes and we saw His heart, His purpose. We heard His calling and we could no longer chose ignorance. Webster's says the definition of ruin is "the physical destruction or disintegration of something; the state of being destroyed". Our adoption can't ruin us. Ping Joy can't ruin us. We are already ruined. God destroyed our desires and pursuits. God broke us so he could heal us and use us for His glory.
We are coming Ping!

House Keeping

     

      There are so many ways in which our decision to adopt has stretched me. One of the ways is financially. Of course it's expensive (everyone knows that), but it's not this fact that has caused me to stretch. It is the fund raising. If you know me well, you know I struggle when it comes to asking people for help and the idea of asking people for money seriously sends me into panic mode. So, when we decided to adopt, we knew we wouldn't be able to raise all the funds necessary in the short amount of time required. We also knew that since we had spent the last year and a half eliminating all debt (except our mortgage and school loans) there was no way we wanted to go back into debt. Billy and I prayed and felt that if this was God's will for our family then He would make a way. That very week a sweet friend sent us a $300.00 check, which confirmed to us that God would indeed make a way.
       When we decided to utilize fund raisers to help fund our adoption, we decided to be very transparent with our finances. After all, many of our friends have sacrificed to help us financially and we want them to know every penny has gone towards our adoption. Early on we outlined the estimated cost of our adoption and shared it on our Pursuing Ping Face Book page. The total amount is $31,905.00. Below is an update on the fees we have paid, how we have paid them, and what is left.

Application Fee       $250       Paid (Marshall)
First CCAI Fee        $2900     Paid ($1100 - Gift, $800 - Marshall)
RR Fees                   $275       Paid (Gift)
Home Study Fees    $4050      Paid (Marshall)
VA Training Fees    $199        Paid ($25 - Gift, $174 - Marshall)
Paperwork               $350.87  Paid (Puzzle Fundraiser)
Postage and Misc.   $359.38  Paid (62.03 - Puzzle Fundraiser, $297.35 - Marshall)

Total Paid as of 10/09/2016 = $8384.25
            Gifts and Donations = $1812.90
                              Marshall = $6571.35
Billy has been blessed with overtime and my Mom had also been able to pick up an extra shift each pay period. I have been able to sell a number of my crafts. We have also cut our budget and given up things that are not necessities. It isn't always easy but it is worth it!

Moving ahead we have a couple of expenses on the horizon.

USCIS Fees - $890 (We plan to use money from our yard sale to pay this fee)
2nd Agency Fee - $2900 (We plan to use the remaining yard sale money $125.06, Puzzle Fundraiser Money $486, and Marshall $1884.94)

After these fees are paid, we will have 30-40 days before we will have any more fees due. We plan to hold a couple of fund raisers over the next two months to help with those upcoming costs.
A jewelry auction will be held via Face Book, November 25-27. The jewelry is made by another adoptive Mama who so generously gives her time and talents!
We will also hold a give away for a beautiful, hand made, quilt. This quilt was sewn by my mother in law who has many years experience making quilts.

Thank you for walking alongside our family on this beautiful journey. We appreciate your prayers, words of encouragement, and your donations of time, talent, and money. Through you, God is doing amazing things.
We are coming Ping!

Yard Sale

   

       I have held a number of yard sales in my life. Most were what I would consider successful. I managed to rid my house of items I no longer wanted and made a little money too. I think my biggest yard sale generated around two hundred dollars. So, when we decided to hold a yard sale as a fund raiser, I wasn't expecting to bring in a great deal of money. But, every penny helps!
       On the morning of the sale I prayed that God would bless our sale. We have a couple of large expenses coming up and I knew the extra money would help. I decided to think big and asked God to provide five hundred dollars profit. I was skeptical, but decided to pray anyways. We had already been blessed by a number of items from our friends. Since we moved and downsized quite a bit, we had a lot of items to sell. We debated on setting prices. I really hate all the effort required to price each item with tiny little stickers so I was truly looking for a reason not to do it.
       Throughout this process God has impressed upon me that I can not out give God. Even though we are saving, and cutting back, and working like crazy to meet our financial goal and bring Ping home, we must be generous (even with our finances). So we decided we would accept donations for our items. I printed posters with Ping's picture and a short bio. When people asked how much, we told them "Name your price; nothing's too small and nothing's too big!" I was in awe of our village! People gave generously and without hesitation. I met other adoptive parents, people who had been touched by children with Down Syndrome, and children who gladly gave their pennies for our sweet Ping. We raised $1015.06! "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21)
And because you can't out give God, we were able to donate:
                       * 28 pairs of shoes to a local little girl. She has Down Syndrome and Epilepsy and will                           benefit from a service dog. Her parents are collecting shoes for a fundraiser.
                       * Men, women, and children's clothing, kitchen appliances and dishes, an air
                          conditioner (window unit), toys, sheets, and a number of odds and ends to Western
                          Branch Philanthropy which provides aid to a number of locals and the homeless in
                          our community
                      * Books to a local teacher
                      * The remainder of our items to the Salvation Army
       I was reminded to think big and never limit God. I was skeptical that we could raise five hundred dollars and look what God did! Like the father with the sick child who cried out to Jesus, I too find myself saying "I believe! But, forgive my unbelief."
       Thank you to our village! You donated items for us to sell, you came and supported our sale, and you prayed for our sale to be successful. We can't do this alone. Thank you for coming alongside us each step of the way.
We are coming Ping!

     

Red Thread

   

     There is an ancient Chinese proverb that states, "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."
       My red thread to Ping began when I was twelve. I watched a documentary on orphanages in other countries and I decided I would one day adopt a child from another country. I really didn't think much about adoption again until a few years into my marriage. We had Tessa who was five years old and just starting kindergarten and our baby, Bella, who was not quiet two. I bought up adoption one evening to Billy and he was open to the idea and in that moment his red thread to Ping formed. We discovered we were too young to adopt from China. We could have chosen a different country, we could have chosen to adopt domestically, but none of those options felt right. So, we put the whole idea on hold. I remember telling my Mom how unfair it all was. She responded "Your child may not even be born yet. Wait for God's timing." Three months later Ping was born in China and five years later her file was prepared.
       Last August (2015), I saw the sweetest picture of a little Chinese girl. She had the most adorable cheeks and eyes that turned into almond slivers when she smiled. I knew in that moment that she was my daughter and I rushed to tell Billy I had found her. Billy agreed that she was adorable, but he had some reservations. How would we afford an adoption? Could we handle her special needs? I knew if Billy wasn't 100% sure we could not move forward. So, once again, I waited. My red thread to Ping stretched and it was painful. I prayed for months that God would change Billy's heart and he would know what I already knew; she was ours. During those months we took a class by Dave Ramsey and we were able to pay down our debt and create financial stability for our family. We reevaluated what was important to our family and began to seek God's will for our lives. I continued to pray for the little girl in the pictures, but my prayers became focused on her family finding her. The red thread between us twisted, tangled, and knotted.
       One afternoon Billy and I began discussing purpose and I mention adoption again. Billy surprised me by saying he was ready. We immediately searched for Ping's profile and we were thrilled to find it. Within two days we had verbally committed to her and begun the process of locking her file. The day we locked her file we told our families. Our red threads knitted together and formed a cord that spanned the oceans to Ping.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
We are coming Ping!