What do you see when you look at the pictures of orphans? What thoughts cross your mind?
About a month ago, a "friend" told me she couldn't pretend anymore. She had to tell me the truth about our adoption and our daughter. She went on to explain that she may be the only friend honest enough to tell me the difficult things I needed to hear. She said, "You are ruining your life and your children's lives." She asked if I knew what "orphans are capable of"? Did I understand that "this child" may never love me and would certainly be a burden to my husband and I and then, we would die and pass that burden on to our girls. She implored me to rethink our adoption. I was so shocked by her "honesty" that it took me a full month to process everything she said. I didn't know how to respond.
The song "Mended" by Matthew West is the perfect response. I can't say it better in my own words, so I won't. You can listen to it here. When she saw the pictures of my little girl, she saw broken, gone, damaged, wounded, a mistake, scars, worthless, pain, unworthy, undeserving. That's not what I see. When I look at my child I see healing, chosen, something good, mended, a redemption story, priceless, purpose, I see God's mercy.
This precious child is a gift to our family; a gift we do not deserve. For years we pursued stuff. We believed the lie that things would make us happy, fulfill us, bring us joy. We measured our worth against our house, our cars, the clothes we wore, the presents we bought, and the friends we had. We chose comfort over calling. We chose money over meaning. We chose to remain in darkness because the light was a little scary. Then God opened our eyes and we saw His heart, His purpose. We heard His calling and we could no longer chose ignorance. Webster's says the definition of ruin is "the physical destruction or disintegration of something; the state of being destroyed". Our adoption can't ruin us. Ping Joy can't ruin us. We are already ruined. God destroyed our desires and pursuits. God broke us so he could heal us and use us for His glory.
We are coming Ping!
Speechless. That someone could presume so wrongly and speak so largely about something they have not heard God's voice on. And at your gracious reply here. God is quite obviously doing a wondrous work here, Ms Laura Jean. In the wise words of my oft-flawed but beloved Papa San, "Head down -- press on."
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